a few months again

i look across at hamilton lights
it has been a muggy toronto night.

i wonder where you are
through the open balcony window

snoring and talking in her sleep
hearing the old lady next door,

some nights
i fear you more.

i wonder who you are now.
revisiting lights of old,
floating around in a digital universe.

reminded of the infinity
and then we're gone.

who she used to be,
at that time.

four years ago.
haunting myself.?
picking at the scab..is it a scab?
is it a scar
i know somethings there
you/i might not be able to see it.

the thought certainly is
but fleeting, undefined
illusion?
are we growing up?

four years ago,
some places five,
is an eternity.
logically
it's about 5 per cent of a lifetime,
that being if we live to eighty..

i think of our deep red curtains
red wine and senility..

this coldest summer on record
but with
the heat revisited
a portion of our time here
has filled me with joy.

receiving your number the past week
surprised and yet didn't
a regular progression
we're both still alive i see,

I for one don't know about you,
but sometimes at least momentarily
cast my thoughts on
autumn's sweater weather.